Focus on the problem rather than the solution ~ In small ways, all day, provide opportunities for children and youth to "read" the situation and solve the problem themselves, in their own way. Rather than directions or prompting them to your solution, take some time to focus on the problem as a way to reinforce that the child doesn’t have to stay flummoxed and frustrated. Instead, they can be a problem solver. This can happen in very small ways and the key is frequency of opportunity more than anything. It can also be primarily non-verbal because by not using language, you reinforce the learner to be looking out at the greater environment and people in the vicinity for information on how to create a solution rather than looking down and waiting for me to tell them what to do. A tiny example is that I held out my hand full of lego and waited for a boy to come closer to me so that I could put them in his bin while cleaning, rather than moving toward him to solve the problem of "hey that is too far away." By waiting and not saying anything, I focused on the problem of "we are not close enough." Also by waiting, this allowed the child to survey the scene, to notice the problem, consider what he could do about it, and then take his own action to solve that problem. Plus, it was really my problem that he was solving but he didn't need any cues other than my pause in order to help me.

The end result for a person who experiences the world this way is that they are less rigid because they learn that there can be multiple solutions, they are more observant because they are looking around and engaged in the environment, and these outcomes lead to a child who is less anxious when things in their world are inevitably imperfect.